The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett is a book written to promote what Pratchett terms the ’Real Cat’, a cat who urinates in the flowerbeds, rips up the furniture, and eats frogs, mice and sundry other small animals. The opposite of the Real Cat is the ’Fizzy Keg Cat’, a well-behaved and bland kind, as seen on cat food advertisements.

Enjoy this audiobook brought to you by LINGVISTOV.

Author of the story — Terry Pratchett © We do not own the rights to this book.
The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh ©
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh ©

— Achtung! We keep on hearing voices!!!
— Conspiracy theory: Daniil is driving us crazy with radio or television...
— St.Petersburg weather update: it’s like October — the summer is over
— Check out «The Adventures of a Bearded Man» with our wonderful illustrations: ссылка
— No-serious-news podcast this week!
— Vampire graves: whose head is it between your legs?!
— What makes a vampire a vampire? And hitting a vampire with wooden sticks!
— Drunken vampires and other efficient ways to get rid of vampires
— Life too exciting? Watch entire train journeys in YouTube!
— The age of small attention spans: the opponents of short video creators
— The beauty of Russian railway: a lot of not normal Russians, vodka, and dirty socks
— Two people having the same hallucination: Should we start worrying about our mental health?
— Thank you voices!

— In Finland, you’d better have a cell phone if nature calls: Use SMS to unlock public toilets
— Cause for celebration: Asia is 100% ours!
— It’s always good to have something to procrastinate on
— Have you missed North Korea? And how is it possible to hide two planes on a cargo ship?
— Mass hallucinations: Landysh and Asia are hearing voices! Can you hear them as well?
— Getting stuck on a tree while riding a balloon powered lawn-chair
— City tour in a bed: or is it just another strategy to increase population?
— What aliens might look like: jellyfish, cockroaches, or just like us?
— Raining glass: Get a metal umbrella now!
— If we looked like reptiles: I met that guy, he had such a fantastic tail!
— Extraterrestrial and local cockroaches: social structures and parallel universes
— Global warming: See level rise and future storms in the 22 century
— Let’s blame America! Poor donkeys with backache and in need of therapy
— Beardology: Fear the Beard! And how can a woman grow a beard
— The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 5 and Epilogue

— This week’s special! Landysh’s contagious laughter
— Asia is back in Saint-Petersburg and Russia is spending too much money on sporting events
— Check out Asia’s and Landysh’s interviews on our website and don’t forget to comment them! ссылка
— Surprise for Asia: Spontaneous introduction and Landysh being a torturer today
— Massacre in Egypt: Soldiers shooting at demonstrators
— Russian army: what would happen if no country in the world had an army and nuclear weapons
— Asia wants to go to the army: our very own future G.I. Jane
— Kremlin buys typewriters: a question of security or do they just like the sound of keys?
— Typing or writing by hand: vegetarians, insecterians and hydroponiacs
— Beardology: A beard-second or how fast does a beard grow?
— The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 4
— Please write to us at info@lingvistov.ru!

— What makes Landysh happy: the company of Daniil and Asia and a good hookah
— Visiting a proper bar: smelly bearded men and bear... or green tea for Landysh?
— Gay and straight cats: I don’t care for them as long as they do not get married
— Daniil’s future in reconnaissance and his topshelf poem about the Financial Service
— Snowden case: what is the price of freedom and security? or let’s talk about acts of chair
— Zombies in the animal world: popping eyes of a ladybug
— Zombies vs. Vampires: dead or still alive? and why are world is freaked out by infections
— Let’s build an artificial whale and swim in the ocean!
— Asia’s trip to Chelny: she and Lola enjoying the book and air-conditioning on the backseat
— Beardology: Fidel Castro’s magical beard
— The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 3
— Don’t forget to visit our website ссылка The best language learning website ever!

— News Alert! Daniil shaved off his beard!
— Asia’s future adventure: from St. Petersburg to Chelny by car
— Landysh going hard core with her diet and turning into a plant
— Protests in Brazil and Turkey: the standing man protesting and too «high» bus fares
— Differences in mentality and our high limits of tolerance: soon we’ll have the second October revolution!
— Cold and heat determine the political regime in your country
— Yes, we cat! Morris the Cat, a perfect candidate for mayor
— Daniil the Catter: Your guide to interaction with cats
— Asia and Lolita: talking to your dog about philosophical aspects of life
— Algae as an alternative energy source: not only renewable, but endless, as well as beautiful
— Beardology: Get paid for your beard! And catvertising
— The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 2
— Philosophy behind the third knee: let’s all go bald!
— «Dear Listeners!» is our new catch phrase!
— Landysh ready to experiment with something more adventurous than hookah
— Check out our Doodle Contest: ссылка

— LINGVISTOV Team finally together! Asia, Daniil and Landysh are in Saint-Petersburg
— Landysh: a bad guide who talks too much and gets easily distracted
— LINGVISTOV future plans: Driving Durov out of his Nevskiy office and settling there!
— Landysh and a hookah: Sitting in a smoky room and doodling
— Message from Rhyne Curton in Charlotte, NC: Our American listener and dear friend!
— Tatar-Russian-English or how you can kill Landysh with your bad pronunciation
— Unrest in Turkey: Getting the news from the protesters on the street
— Americans and Thanksgiving: Turkey pies, turkey donuts, turkey hotdogs, and turkey flavoured coffee
— Oh baby soup: Eating a cucumber and drinking milk
— Supervision: The mystery of ultraviolet light and x-raying babies
— Beardology: Why women find bearded men hot
— The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 1
— Our priority destination: McDonalds with hookahs in Egypt
— Check out our Doodle Contest: ссылка

— Girly Podcast this week!
— Landysh marking her territory with lilies of the valley
— Lingvistov team travelling as an entity and reading Bible for an educational purpose
— An episode of LINGVISTOV Podcast without Daniil... we are lonely
— Romantic story about zombies: or where Twilight creators draw their inspiration from
— Asia in Finland: Wonderland where it’s comfortable to be anyone
— Finnish Bob Dylan fans and internal invasion of Finland by the Russians
— Charm of bearded women and how a woman can grow a beard
— Beauty that frightens and people who feel comfortable with their bodies
— Mom, am I beautiful? You have to face the truth as early as possible
— Losing weight: sports, dieting and moderation
— Addiction: the key is in realising you’re hooked
— Landysh’s special diet: eat as many apples as you like till 4 pm!
— Being vegan and doing exercises while you’re pregnant
— Doodle Contest: vote and submit your entries — ссылка

— Interview with Mus from magnificent Algeria!
— Why a foreigner has a profile in vkontakte: Friends and music
— Language issues in Algeria: speaking French like the French
— A love story between France and Algeria and the Arab spring
— Algerian president: dead or alive?
— Strategy of the Algerian government: not to piss off everybody
— Marseille — the 49th arrondissement of Algeria
— African markets! Colours, spices, sand and the most beautiful sunsets!
— Rich Algerian cuisine and bread cooked in the sand
— Big Arab families and difficult life of people in Algeria
— Cheap work force: intelligent people doing manual work in developed countries
— Women in Algeria and why you mustn’t take photos of local people
— Weird Easter traditions and dangerous Algerian celebrations
— Going to France by a boat and burning visas
— Colonized brain of the Algerians: poor people of the rich country

— Repeating the introduction and emotions after forgetting to switch on the recorder
— Suicide in Notre-Dame de Paris: killing oneself to send the message against same-sex marriages
— Why gay people marry? It turns out for the same reasons straight people do.
— Is suicidal behaviour a disease? And is it a weakness to commit one?
— Anti-depressants: Landysh is living up to an image of a proper artist
— Aldous Huxley’s experiments with drugs and how the world profited from it
— Blackholes can actually be wormholes: would you take a risk?
— Travelling through the Universe and how «The Sliders» is the best Tv show ever!
— Immortality: you get to be either a cyborg or a vampire, no other options available! And no zombies
— LINGVISTOV Doodle Contest: vote and submit funny captions and maybe you’ll win our T-Shirts! ссылка